My selfish heart

The tears come, damp not wet.
Silent sobs don't shake me.
Lying here, in the dark.
No-one knows.
You love me,
but can it be enough for my selfish heart.

Smiling, inside only.
I cannot tell you.
For it was not you that made my heart leap.
You catch a glimpse and your face lights up.
Expectation, will soon fade.
Playing the game, I give you a few moments.
You are lifted,
but I cannot give you my selfish heart.

Morning comes, dragging me with it.
Heavy limbed, I dress.
Sitting, I have to accept this mess,
I should treat you well,
do you deserve this crucifying pain.
Only I should have to live with my selfish heart.

June 2007